Contrary to Popular Belief… There is No “High Road”: The Realities of Judgment, Truth, and Respect
Stand in your own truth, but make sure the foundation is solid and be willing to adjust it as you find it necessary.
You are responsible for what you say, not for what others understand. You cannot make someone change their mind because what they believe is what they believe. It is not up to you to change their mind, it is up to you to present your beliefs and let it sit. Although sometimes you just want to pound “common sense” into someone until they see your point, it really does nothing at all except frustrate YOU.
Once you present your views they either absorb it and understand it, or they don’t. It’s that simple. People are only capable of understanding that which they have the tools at the time to understand. If they come from a place of lacking, it is part of their journey to discover their tools. Those tools can be anything from compassion, listening, empathy, reasoning, love, respect, acceptance, or any of a myriad of traits that form the psyche.
“You live your life, and I’ll live mine.” A wonderful statement as long as you respect the way the other person is living his life and vice versa. If there is no respect the statement is futile. Respect doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they are presenting, it means you have to understand that they are human, they are important, they are essentially love, and they are on their own journey. For those reasons, they deserve not to be judged, they deserve to receive the same value placed upon them as you place upon yourself. They deserve, for those simple reasons, having their voice heard, and having their feelings respected regardless if their feelings match up with your own. Showing respect means you truly understand that everyone’s opinion matters to them – that their voice is important.
In order to find happiness in your own life, you must try your hardest to practice respect. For others and for yourself. We’re all here just doing our best. We do it in different ways and by different means. Not one of us is more important than another. Not one of us is better than another. Contrary to popular belief, there is NO high road. When we are capable of understanding where another person is coming from, it is easier to respect them. In order to do this, we must all follow one of the most basic and ancient teachings, and that is the Golden Rule. Just do unto others as if you were the others.
When people judge you, it is coming strictly from something within them and really has nothing to do with you. It comes from everything they have learned up until that point in time. It comes from past pain, jealousy, embarrassment, anger, or fear. It comes from a crippled frame of mind that somehow they are better because they do things a different way or see things in a different light. It has NOTHING to do with you and your choices, it has everything to do with their own inability to respect all life regardless if it matches their own view.
So when you’ve been judged, and I know this very well as I’ve been on both ends, oh boy do I know… you cannot take that judgement personally. For me I try to remind myself that I am the Main Character of MY story, and everyone else is the Main Character of their own story. Just like my story has been created around my life events, so has theirs. As long as I don’t take what is said personally, I am not feeding my own ego (to be right or wrong) and I am not wallowing in pain. I know that whatever is being said comes from the other persons memory bank of experiences, and although their words may be directed at me – really what is going on is unresolved pain or fear in the other person over their own past experiences.
So to finally end this long-winded post – Yes, stand in your own truth. Just make sure along the way, you don’t fail to see the truth of the other person as well.
originally published on ZenSational Living and in Studio B in May 2015 at sheilamburke.com
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