We’ve Had the Answers for Millennia
I find it weird, sometimes, that there are so many self-help books out there helping us navigate through life when we’ve actually had the answers to much of what ails us – for thousands of years.
In the form of simple prose, the ancients gave us proverbs and parables to impart wisdom which everyone can make sense of. I don’t know, but one might think in a couple thousand years, we would have consumed and applied this wisdom a lot better than we have.
One issue many of us struggle with is learning to go with the flow and not jumping to conclusions or judging people.
The Old Man and His Horse is a parable over two THOUSAND years old and offers advice for the ages. The message is timeless.
The Old Man and His Horse (Taoist wisdom of Sai Weng Shi Ma)
In the third century B.C.— during the Han Dynasty, there was an old man who lived in a tiny village on China’s border. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”
“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
For me, the take away is that we never know what the outcome of something is gonna be. So why on earth do we drive ourselves bonkers with dread or worry when something bad happens?
Perspective has a lot to do with how we are impacted by life’s trials and tribulations. The glass half full thing comes in here. Of course, we’re not always going to find a blessing in every bad thing that happens, but we will learn a lot about ourselves. And when we are learning, we are also becoming stronger.
How many times have we judged someone or something, spent an ungodly amount of time arguing, worrying, or in fear – riddled with acne and body aches – only to come out on the other end of chaos to find a lesson. How many times do we look back and say, “If this didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have found this other thing.”
Life IS gonna take is wherever it’s gonna take us. Period. It’s how we act and react along the way that helps or hurts us.
Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl famously wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
We can be stressed and worried – fearful of what might happen or we can just do our best with what we have at the time.
When we learn to ride out the storm – go with the flow – it means to chill out in the midst of chaos and allow the things you cannot control to play out. While all that is happening, we can focus our mind on other, positive things. Once the chaos plays out, we see what we’ve got to work with and go from there.
No, it’s not always an easy thing to do, but the best way to find peace of mind – whether it be success and happiness or failure and sadness – is to not let ourselves get attached. Either way it’s going to pass. Things are really never what they appear to be at the onset. As we learn how to navigate through frustration and despair, we also are building our ability to leap a little higher over the next hurdle.